When we read the wisdom writings in our Old Testaments, we need to keep in mind what we are used to doing with the historical and prophetic books–reading and understanding them in light of the Gospels. Just as the Jews understanding of “neighbor” grew over time, certain elements of the wisdom tradition need clarification or amplification in light of Christ. However, in many cases, such as the excerpt from Sirach below, no “updating” is needed: the wisdom is as wise as it ever was. Here is one happy example:
From Ben Sira (Sirach) chapter 19:
13 Admonish your friend—he may not have done it;
and if he did, that he may not do it again.
14 Admonish your neighbor—he may not have said it;
and if he did, that he may not say it again.
15 Admonish your friend—often it may be slander;
do not believe every story.
16 Then, too, a person can slip and not mean it;
who has not sinned with his tongue?
So nicely put, too!
Note the emphasis on taking it up directly with the person who apparently said something. This is not advice to let people off easy, but to try to build a stronger relationship based on the truth of the matter and/or a more compassionate understanding of the person involved.